Facing Adversity, Adjusting Goals & Mastering Change

A month into my marathon training, I learned I had severe osteoarthritis and a labral tear in my hip. My running journey suddenly came to an end. Here are my lessons from facing this adversity.

In the fall of 2023, after losing 140 pounds and with my weight loss journey ending, I realized I was at a critical fork in the road. It was a moment where I needed to find a way to continue to sustain my daily healthy actions or risk slowly fading back to my past unhealthy patterns.

I was transitioning from a weight loss journey to a fitness journey. Weight loss was no longer my success metric; I needed a new one.

Over the summer of 2023, I cultivated a renewed love for running — Running had become my new metric. After entering a couple of races, I knew I wanted to run a marathon, and in November of 2023, I signed up for the Boise River Marathon in May 2024.

In January, my training went into full swing. Right away, I began to have pain in my right hip every time I ran. At first, I tried to work around this by adjusting my training plan, taking a couple of weeks off, and going to physical therapy — It just didn’t get better. In mid-February, I saw an orthopedic and got an MRI.

The diagnosis was a gut punch!

I found out I have severe osteoarthritis and a labral tear in my right hip, most likely requiring a joint replacement. Running is no longer a healthy option for me for the time being.

My initial reaction was a bit of denial. I desperately tried to rationalize a way to keep running — my ego shouted to the universe, “I’ll show you I can run.”

After a few days and after seeing the diagnosis on paper, I finally began to work towards acceptance of this new reality.

One of the steps of acceptance was sitting with and labeling my fear.

“Without running, how will I sustain my motivation to be healthy — what if I regain all the weight I lost?”

This was when I saw my attachment to running and how I was making my happiness dependent upon my ability to do it.

One of the most important lessons of my weight loss journey was when it became clear that happiness was not an outcome to achieve; it was a continuous byproduct of the journey.

Happiness wasn’t a destination to get to someday; it was something I got to create for myself every day — The result of consistently showing up for myself!

Happiness is not an outcome to achieve; it is a continuous byproduct of the journey.

My running injury reminded me why I started running in the first place.

To be the healthiest version of myself.

It also showed me something important — I had become fixated on my marathon goal and continued to run through my injury despite the risk to my health.

At some level, I had tied my happiness to reaching my goal of completing a marathon.

In the book “Master of Change” by Brad Stulberg, he provides two important equations related to happiness and suffering.

Happiness = reality - expectations

Suffering = pain x resistance

Running a marathon had become an expectation no longer aligned with my reality. Holding on to this expectation was no longer serving my happiness; it was taking away from it.

Additionally, my resistance to accepting my injury was amplifying the pain I was feeling in my hip and leading to an increased level of suffering in my life.

It became clear that my happiness and elimination of my suffering would be dependent on my willingness to let go of running.

It was time to set new goals in alignment with my values and adjust my daily actions to be consistent with my new reality.

Adjusting course as needed; Keeping your goals and actions aligned with your reality and values.

Throughout my weight loss journey, I used the analogy that my goals were my “mountain in the distance,” a compass to follow, reminding me I was going the right way. My focus at any given moment was always my daily actions.

If, at any point, I were to look up and realize my actions were not aimed at my mountain in the distance, it would mean I was out of alignment with my values.

All was not lost; it was just a reminder to pause and reflect. It was a sign that I had some inner work to do.

When I took time to pause and reflect on my running injury, I quickly determined that I had some inner work to do and that I needed new goals and actions that were consistent with my new reality. Goals and actions that pointed me toward my values.

My core health and fitness value is living the most extended, vibrant life possible. To show up for myself, my wife, and my kids with joy and excitement. For my kids to not experience the pain I went through of losing a parent at 25 years old

The process of acceptance. On the left, my board had my marathon training plan and running paces. In the middle, I erased the board and left it blank for a few days. Then, on the right, I set my new goal and plan in alignment with my values and new reality.

Given that I am likely facing hip surgery, my new goal is to be in the best shape I can be before my surgery by keeping up my VO2 max and improving my core, hip, and leg strength. To lose an additional ten to fifteen pounds, which will aid in reducing joint impact and improve my post-surgery recovery.

This new goal has helped me reshape my daily actions from training for a marathon to preparing for the surgery that will hopefully enable me to run again.

Normalizing challenge and adversity.

The last 577 days of my weight loss and fitness journey have taught me to normalize challenges and adversity.

Today, I know that my life will not suddenly be perfect when I accomplish some goal, be it losing 140 pounds or running a marathon.

My journey has had its share of bumps. I’ve had to face conflict with family, injuries, coming off the weight loss medication “Mounjaro,” having my gallbladder removed, and now a significant hip injury that will result in a hip scope at best and a hip replacement at worst.

During my journey, there is one muscle I have strengthened more than any other:

It is the ability to face challenges with a sense of optimism grounded in reality and to find gratitude in the lessons those challenges offer me to learn.

I have come to expect that my journey will be challenging, but I have also built a confidence that I can tackle any challenge life throws me.

I do not seek the magic bullet for my problems but instead relish in the satisfaction of facing the parts of myself that fear challenge and change.

I am becoming a master of change.